Assertiveness » anxiety

Stop Social Anxiety – Self Help Tips

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:12:19 +0000

Article by Joanne Whyte

If you are affected by social anxiety you probably find it hard to be yourself and enjoy the company of people in social settings.

Do you wonder how folk look so laid back and make communicating look easy? Do events such as parties, meetings or a night in the local watering hole trigger awful feelings of nervousness or fear? If this is familiar at all read on & learn how to Stop Social Anxiety.

Here are some of the things others with Social Anxiety say

I find I am struggling with my emotions when I’m in social settings I have difficulty relaxing & showing people my real natureWhen I am with others I look on and see them chatting & yearn to join in

Sounding familiar?

Just imagine you could put an stop to the symptoms that can be all too frequent?

Can you identify with these feelings?

Zap Test Anxiety While Building Self Esteem in Kids

admin — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 16:39:18 +0000

Article by Julie Wilson

If you are a parent, you know how important a good education is for your child. You likely also feel the pressure placed on your student to excel in the classroom and strive to be ‘the best.’ It seems that schools across the board are in competition to determine who can produce the greatest number of Einsteins each year. It’s not enough to bring home a good report card any more. Students and teachers alike are now under the gun to ace the various state-mandated tests that could propel their school to the top. As the saying goes, ‘competition is fierce.’

All of this is enough to cause a nervous breakdown. Or at least produce a cold sweat! There’s no doubt about it – kids are under tremendous pressure to perform, and it’s no surprise that with this pressure comes a good bit of anxiety and a whole lot of self-doubt.

So what can parents and teachers do to alleviate test anxiety while boosting self-esteem in our students? According to the National Association of School Psychologists (NASP), teachers and parents must work together to help children learn good study skills, first and foremost, and parent involvement is definitely key. Parents of elementary students usually help their children more than parents of adolescents, but NASP says that older students also need parental support through high school. Two-thirds (66 percent) of parents polled by the National Education Association (NEA) say that their middle school students seek their help with homework, so from your child’s point of view, you are an important part of his or her learning process.

Reducing test anxiety and boosting self esteem actually go hand-in-hand if you think about it. The stronger a child feels about his or her capabilities, the more confidently he or she will tackle a test or exam. Keeping up with homework throughout the week is an excellent way to keep your child on track and to be prepared when test day arrives. And according to the United States Department of Education (USDE), http://www.ed.gov, parents can help their children with homework in a variety of ways. Here are a couple of suggestions:

* Set a regular homework time — This demonstrates to your children (especially middle and high schoolers) that even though they are growing in age and intelligence, they are still expected to complete their homework assignments. By setting a time as a family, you will know when to be available to answer your children’s homework questions and monitor their progress.* Help your student by monitoring assignments — This does not necessarily mean correcting each homework problem. Just make sure you are available to answer questions during the allotted homework time. Even if you are not able to answer all questions, or if your student has no questions at all, your presence shows your child respect and support.

It probably goes without saying that adequate sleep, a balanced diet and regular exercise can enhance a child’s performance in school and should be the ‘ground work’ for ensuring a positive school experience. In fact, a recent study found that high school students who got eight hours of sleep before taking a math test were nearly three times more likely to figure out the problem than those who stayed awake all night (source: KidsHealth.org).

Georgia elementary school teacher and former private school principal, Beth Scussel, offers several suggestions for helping calm a child’s anxiety prior to a big test. Says Scussel, “Keep your regular home routines – go to bed at what would be the regular time. Say assuring things like ‘You are prepared for this test. You will do just fine. I am always proud of you.’”

As a parent with a child who sometimes lacks confidence, Scussel says she can almost feel his pain when he worries about taking tests. “My son tells me about getting sweaty hands and feeling his heart beat so loud that it rings in his ears before a test. My mantra with him is always the same when he is nervous – ‘God made you a brave, strong boy and you can DO THIS!’ Then he and I will brainstorm the many times he has been confident before: trying out for the football team, telling a friend that he hurt your feelings and you didn’t like it, and reading 25 books in class. Then he usually feels better with some hugs and hand holding,” explains Scussel. Helping your child think positive and offering your encouragement can work wonders.

According to Math & Reading Help for Kids (http://math-and-reading-halp-for-kids.org), it is extremely important to:* make time for homework (as we’ve already noted);* improve teacher/student relationships;* offer children other fun ways to improve skills, supplementing homework efforts; Sudoku, a logic-based educational puzzle, can help improve a child’s critical thinking, math and logic skills. And it’s fun!

As a teacher, Scussel develops and nurtures relationships with her students from the start, which helps to promote a relaxed classroom environment, minimizing anxiety that some students feel. “I think self-esteem in kids is extremely important. I set rules and expectations on the first day of school, and have 36 classroom rules that I have taken from Ron Clark’s Essential 55 book. We read, discuss and role play each one of them on the first day. I have them posted in my room, and each child has a copy,” says Scussel. “When you have a family-feel to your classroom and the atmosphere is one of safety, kindness and lots of fun, kids tend to forget their self-esteem issues. I also reward those reluctant children who take risks and try, and likewise I reward children who are supportive and patient.”

Perhaps nothing helps squelch test anxiety better than simply being prepared. The Boy Scouts have had it right all along! And remember when mom used to say, “Practice makes perfect?” Indeed, repetition comes into play when a student is studying for a test. I was a fan of flash cards and used to cut and paste questions into Word documents to help my kids study. I created quizzes with them and monitored as they took our ‘homemade’ tests before going to school for the real thing. I ended up creating my own study site, Qwizzy’s World, when I couldn’t find an online resource that worked for my purposes. What’s neat about it is that my kids learn their test material before they even realize they are studying. They input their own test questions, record answers, and then actually take the test they’ve created. Then, they can take this test as many times as they’d like. And they are prepared when they leave for school.

My son’s teacher has become a fan. “Qwizzy’s World is helpful for my students – I have seen an improvement in their test grades. Students have told me that they can remember and learn more from studying with QW rather than traditional study methods,” said middle school teacher Amy Ingram. “I like using QW in my classroom as a way to differentiate learning, and it’s a great tool for preparing students for state mandated testing.”

And speaking of state mandated tests, you can purchase study guides that are full of sample tests that can ease anxiety by exposing students to the kinds of questions they will be asked on these statewide tests. An Atlanta-based company called School Box (www.schoolbox.com) is a fantastic resource for all kinds of study materials, and they have an extensive online store.

One last trick I’d like to share that can ease your child’s nerves is some sage advice from Kerstin Sjoquist, C.H.T. She recommends telling your child to imagine their favorite place if they get frazzled during a test. Brain scans show simply visualizing something calm and happy triggers the brain to produce relaxing alpha waves in less than 30 seconds, slowing heart rate and breathing. Within moments, they’ll feel more calm and able to concentrate again!

While we can’t take away all of our children’s fears and anxieties about school and test-taking, we can be their biggest advocates. Coupling love and encouragement with some of the strategies we’ve discussed here can go a long way in helping your child achieve success in the classroom and beyond.

Qwizzy’s World is a unique study site, where practice quizzes can be created from a student

Cure Anxiety and Panic Attacks – How To Cope With Low Self-Esteem In Children

admin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 16:05:36 +0000

Article by Paris Lee

One of the most challenging phases in life is being a teenager. This is also the time when a teenager gets to establish certain choices like making friends, and also encountering some people or situations which may cause us to feel bad about ourselves. If this issue is not dealt with properly, low self-esteem may result in anxiety disorder. The good news is, it is also during teenage years that the body is responsive and with little effort, it is easy to cure anxiety and panic attacks. Let us look into how boosting self-esteem can help to stop anxiety.

Having acne problems, wearing unsuitable clothing and hanging out with the wrong crowd are a few examples that can attract unwanted negative things for a teenager. It may cause other people to look down on them, and in turn, hurt their self-confidence and make them always feel bad about themselves. Low self-esteem means that you will always be conscious about what other people would say or think about the things that you say or do. If this is not addressed properly, then it can lead to severe anxiety and other consequences such as not being able to interact with other teenagers and not being able to perform well in school.

If not addressed during the teenage years, it may continue on in life and affect the person’s ability to look for a decent job, establish a nice career, or build relationships and look for a partner in life. All this starts in the teenage years, and this is why it is important to cure anxiety and panic attacks as soon as they start to manifest. While there are many causes, low self-esteem is usually behind a teenager’s anxiety disorder. Thus, this is where efforts need to be concentrated.

In order to boost a teenager’s self-esteem, the people around him or her, such as family members, neighbors, peers and teachers should be able to interact with the person with respect. It is also crucial to recognize the particular reasons for a person’s low self-esteem. If it is about not belonging to a certain group at school, the concerned people, parents, for instance, should be able to explain that this is normal and that not belonging to a certain group does not have to mean the end of the world. An effort to highlight the person’s positive traits should be put in to help him feel good about himself. This is the first step towards fighting anxiety.

The teenage years can make or break someone’s life. Whatever happens during this period will greatly have impact on what the person will become a few years from now. Thus, parental support is very important during this phase. It is important to cure anxiety and panic attacks as soon as they manifest in order to ensure that the teenager does not proceed with life still carrying the baggage of this disorder. In order to build a better future, it is crucial to boost one’s confidence during his or her teenage years.

Are you looking for cures of anxiety and panic attacks that can stop anxiety and panic attacks fast, using a natural and effective technique? For more information, watch this video at: http://www.preventing-panicattacks.com

Awesome guide to building teen self esteem and self confidence building for teens. Great for troubled teens and kicking depression….cartoon illustrations that rock.”
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DO YOU LACK SELF CONFIDENCE, SUFFER ANXIETY AND FEAR WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU?

admin — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:53:57 +0000

Article by Mal Peters

It appears to be a certain fact,from rising online searches about the topic, that a rapidly growing number of people do have some sort of anxiety or self-esteem issue,These conditions have the power to, and often do,destroy an individual’s self- progression and ensure a miserable life! Fear has been described in spiritual circles as Satans Greatest Weapon.Well even if you do not believe there is a Satan,fear is certainly the inner selfs greatest enemy..it paralyses,saps strength and enthusiasm and creates huge unhappiness.

The main areas in which it afflicts people are:- confidence to build relationships,ability to take action and stress in front of people or situations.Feelings of inadequacy in some form or other is the common factor throughout,along with social anxiety.

The causes of the problem can be complex,depending on the individual involved. One thing is for sure however,that the condition can ruin lives bigtime!! The better news is that more is known now about the causes of it and how to address it.The reasons for it taking hold of a particular person are officially unproven and a lot more time and space than this short article would be required to evaluate that fully,but I will put to you two things in contemporary life, which are particularly high on the suspect list:-

1) Visual imagery2) High expectation

On hundreds of TV channels we are fed a diet of watching good looking people.seemingly with super human powers at their disposal.These are people who seemingly

10 Easy Steps to Boost Self Esteem and Stop Anxiety

admin — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 05:50:35 +0000

Article by Jay Chase

Self esteem is something we need in order for us to lead a life that is happy, healthy and genuine. Self esteem means that we give our life meaning with confidence and belief in ourselves. Unfortunately for many of us our lives are controlled by a feeling of insecurity, doubt and extreme worry of what other people think about us due to low levels of self esteem. However, there are many things we can do to change this, here are 10 tips to getting your life back by increasing your confidence and self esteem bit by bit:

1. Just Ask:

‘If you don’t ask you don’t get’ is a phrase to live by when it comes to getting the things you want. Making asking for things a habit will give you the practice you need to becoming unconsciously confident and once you begin to see the results and gaining the things you need to positively reaffirm what you are doing asking for the things you need, want or would like to know it will become second nature and you will always look to enhancing your future and self esteem.

2. Moving Forward:

It is a very common thing to happen when we have self esteem to dwell on the past and let our failures take control of our future. If you have ever been through such things as a bad break up, miscarried a child, lost a job, fallen out with a friend or been in debt you have experienced a negative aspect of life that can be hard to come back from if you have low self esteem. Life can be hard there is no denying this and when small things add up or something big happens to you sometimes there seems no way out. However, it does not have to be this way.

We forget that there is a whole future ahead of us and how we deal with one thing will reflect how we deal with things in the future. This is why it is so important to move on from anything bad that happens in your life and even though sometimes it is hard you have to push yourself little by little towards something positive.

3. Work On It:

Self esteem is something that you do have to practice. For some of us we believe that there are those that are lucky and those that are not, there are those who have everything going for them in their life and are confident and there are those that will just always fail and be a shrinking violet in the background. This is not true. Yes, there are these people in life but it is not something that is predetermined by any means. People make their own luck, it is as simple as that. So, if you think positive, positive things will happen. Each day do something that will help you gain that extra layer of confidence and make you feel good about yourself.

4. Positive Energy:

To build your self esteem, negative vibes and environments can have a detrimental affect on you, especially whilst you are developing and gaining strength to deal with the things in your life. Although it is impossible to avoid everything negative in your life you can take your self out of certain situations and/or embrace the situations using it to be something positive as it is a challenge.

Negatives are something necessary for a balanced perspective, you can still try to avoid negativity when possible. If you do not enjoy work talk to your manager to see what can be done, if you are in an abusive relationship speak to someone who can help you, if you have a child who just cannot seem to behave go to your doctor, your family or your friend and see if they can help or if you have a friend who puts you down in some way then take time away from them and hang out with those who have a positive influence on you.

5. Look It Up:

Research everything about self esteem, confidence, support groups etc in your local area, speak to those you trust, go to your doctor if necessary about anything that you think is affecting your life. You might have gone your whole life thinking that feeling down everyday, not coping with life’s day to day routine, being aggressive, worrying what others think, shying away from challenges or having panic attacks is just part and parcel of being you; that its natural and cannot be changed. This is untrue.

We can change once we have the knowledge of how to change it. Write down all the things you think are holding you back; thoughts, feeling, emotions, people, situations, work, family or friends can all be things that you think are holding you back in life and make you feel lost and hopeless. This may be true to some extent but what you need to realise is that it is you that has the power to change it, if you don’t like your life you can do something about it.

6. Action Plan:

Take time out of your life and look at it, really look at it. What is it that you want to make better? What is it that will make you happy? And what is it that you know you can do to change it? Write down an action plan that will guide you over a certain time with small and large milestones on it that will not only motivate you but grow your self esteem as you go along, you will be achieving the things you never thought possible.

7. Reward System:

Self development and improving your self and life is no mean feat. You will never increase your self esteem if you do not reward yourself. We naturally respond to incentives and there is nothing wrong in this. You have to feed you mind and body with positive affirmations to motivate you enough to continue and feed that self esteem and confidence ‘tree’. Set yourself goals in realistic time scales and when you reach them treat yourself to something you like to do: A night out with the girls doing something special, pamper yourself, go on holiday, have a glass of champagne, take some time out with a good book and bobble bath. It can be anything that you know you will love and will be good for you to do, reemphasising what you have achieved and why you should continue to boost that self esteem.

8. Face Your Fears:

This can be a hard thing to do no matter what your fear is: Going out shopping, driving on the motorway, staying home alone, going to a pub by yourself, dating again, starting a family, leaving your partner or even spiders. What we need to know is you can change your perception of any of these and more by these by facing them.

It does sound like a cliché to say face your fears but it is a cliché for 1 reason; that it is true. Exposure therapy is something that is commonly used and really does work as long as it is controlled and taken in small steps. Whatever your fear you can change the way you think by standing up to them.

9. Talk It Over:

Talking things over with people can really have a huge effect on your self esteem. No matter who you talk to; your family, children, best friend, doctor, therapist, support group or counsellor. The fact that you can and are willing to open up to someone is something that we can take for granted. Being open and honest with yourself can be tougher sometimes but talking things through and getting that reassurance from the people you trust can help you adjust your thinking and improve the way you communicate with others and react to people, giving you the confidence to

10. Friends:

Friends should be a huge part of life and we should all be grateful for them everyday. Having a network around you gives a huge boost of confidence as it will for them. If you are reading this and you feel you really do not have anyone in your life that meets this criteria have a think again; who is the person you call the most or that calls you the most? Who is it you think of when you are in trouble or are feeling down? And who is it that you miss the most when you don’t see them? If you cannot think of anyone you do not have to worry as it is something that you can use as a goal to find that support and be a support to someone you love and if you do have that around you really look at them and be thankful for what you have as this will give you that energy you need to find the positives in your life.

Anxiety and self esteem are closely linked and create a vicious circle if one or both factors are at a level that affects your life in a negative way. So by boosting your self esteem and getting that confidence to battle life you will also get the confidence and tools to battle anxiety and stop that worry of what others think about you in such a way you will take your life, anxiety and confidence and do the things you want to do.

To watch a presentation that will show you how to destroy the worry of what others think about you in 5 easy steps visit “Secret Social Weapons”

Secret Social Weapons

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Can You Use Hypnosis for Anxiety to End Your Fear of Failure?

admin — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 19:38:57 +0000

Article by Hypnosis45

Hypnosis for anxiety is a powerful tool to help bring relief from your fearsHypnosis has many benefits, so let’s look at how hypnosis for anxiety helps you release stress, worry and fear.You no doubt are aware of the fear of failure. That deep concern about not being good enough or being embarrassed in front of others. The fear of appearing weak. This fear will sabotage your efforts and hold you back. It keeps you from taking risks. This is what I call a lower level fear because with some effort you are able to overcome many of these fears. With some confidence building tools you can assess then improve your skills and support system to regain some self assurance. Hypnosis is very effective in helping you to resolve these fears and empower your personal growth.But there is another fear that is not very often addressed. Yet it can be far more overwhelming and debilitating.I believe that the fear of success causes far more concern.Think about it. The fear of failure is a concern that you can’t achieve something and while it does cause feelings of ineffectiveness, it doesn’t cause as much concern as the fear of success.Are you afraid to be all of who you can be?Does your fear keep you from moving beyond mediocrity? It will be triggered when you approach a certain level of success and can sabotage your efforts to attain a greater goal.Think about it.What would happen if you now lived your life at a level of success and visibility that made you clearly stand out from others? How would you feel if you had to be your best most of the time? If you were exposed in such as way that it triggered your deep fear of not being good enough, of being a phony, of being a loser?Sounds scary? It will be for that part of your subconscious mind that fears you will be exposed as a fraud. I have had many successful business people expressing these exact fears. With help they realized that the self sabotage of their subconscious mind was holding them back. That the fear of success was deeply rooted and strongly active.This part of your subconscious mind strives to keep you from expecting too much, from exposing to others your insecurities, from feeling worthless. The truth is that it really does think that you are flawed, that you really will fail and are unworthy of success. So it actively supports that belief, demonstrating a negative core belief that you do not deserve to have it all. That if you try too hard you will be emotionally destroyed when proven to be a failure.Why would it do this?It is the defender of your subconscious beliefs and limitations. It also thinks of you, the conscious entity, as a child. It will do its best to keep you from being emotionally destroyed by exposing and being too visible. Failure at this level, it believes, could lead to emotional ruin. Like a critical parent it can be ruthless in its power and beliefs.”Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us… There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you…” Marianne WilliamsonYet we often do shrink and hold ourselves back. Hypnosis for anxiety can help you release this ultimate fear and grow in stature. To finally become the person that you really are, your true self, the “you” beneath your limited thinking.I am convinced that your destiny is to overcome this old programming and release these irrational fears. To prove to your limited subconscious mind that yes, you are an adult, capable of facing any issue or fear that arises and successfully move beyond it. It is time to realize that as an adult, things are different now. You have the ability to change your life right now, to overcome old barriers and succeed in exciting new ways. That is why hypnosis for anxiety is so powerful – it helps to change these old, negative beliefs at their core. When you use hypnotherapy for anxiety to overcome past limitations and improve your life you naturally discover that your inner power transfers from your old, resistive subconscious mind toward your new, healthier subconscious mind.You have the capacity to change your life, and hypnosis for anxiety is a powerful tool toward this end. You begin to experience yourself as the talented, self confident and healthy individual that you truly are. Web MD states that hypnosis can improve the success in treating phobias, fears and anxieties.Are you ready to become an inspiration to others? To make the effort to live the life you truly deserve? To fulfill your destiny? If you are, take the next step by downloading the free Ecourse, the “7 Powerful Secrets to Change Your Life Today.” Get it free at http://www.GreenwoodHypnotherapy.com. Learn more about how hypnosis for anxiety can help release your fear, anxiety and concerns.

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Overcome anxiety : how to build self esteem and confidence

admin — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 10:16:25 +0000

Article by Thebestyouare

If you are not feeling good and happy in this life, then it is impossible to feel good with yourself. You might feel a kind of anxiety or discomfort in each moment, each event and each situation.

Maybe you would like to have some courage in certain occasions. Maybe you do not dare to speak in public or ask a question because you are afraid from others judgments and misunderstandings. Anxiety and panic attacks will result from such a scheme of thoughts.

In order to overcome anxiety and feel the courage to achieve tasks, the primary thing to do is to be honest with yourself. Honesty is the synonym of courage and self confidence.

If you feel anxious when you have to face something or somebody, you undoubtedly do not believe sufficiently in you. However, more you doubt in yourself and the more you will put barriers in the way of your self improvement. You will have very big difficulties to take yourself in charge.

So you might be asking yourself on how to overcome anxiety and have some courage when you have to face some situations?

what can i do to keep a strong self confidence without being disturbed by events and situations ?

This method is your first step to overcome anxiety. It is composed from 6 practical steps that will help you to feel well and happy. Consider this method as a start for your self esteem and confidence recovery.

1. Learn to know yourself:

Take a sheet of paper and describe the way you see yourself. Without showing your sheet, ask 2 or 3 of your best friends to describe the way they see you. You will be able to note many differences between your own vision and theirs. You have to be sure that the others cannot know a lot about you. But each one of their remarks can constitute a very interesting starting point so you can begin to analyze yourself deeply and honestly.

2. Accept yourself as you are:

If the objective of this analyze will make you notice the good points in your personality, it will also indicates you the wrong ones. You have to be able to handle all the critics from your best friends because all the negative points should appear after this analyze. If you think that what was told to you by your close relations is justified, don not make a drama. No one is perfect. All the negative points can be fixed and substitute by good points that will help you to adapt in society.

3. Be honest towards yourself:

As we mentioned above, honesty is a sign of courage and a first step to overcome anxiety. While becoming honest with yourself, you will admit and agree to be somebody of distressed for example. You will realize that it is not awful. Starting from this recognition and this acceptance, you will be able to accept and love yourself as you are, and on the other hand you will begin to eradicate panic attacks.

4. Act, act and act:

Having recognized and agreed that you have a problem somewhere, being conscious of this problem and wanting to improve, you have to act in a positive way .Acting means that the problem will be solved. Not taking action will lead you to the real failure. Lastly, it is while testing and failing that you will succeed.

5. Shut down your interior criticism:

All of us and certainly you, who is suffering from anxiety and panic attacks, have little voices in your brain that judges you and criticize you. In order to improve yourself and overcome anxiety, you do not really need to hear these voices. Sometimes they might be telling you that you are a loser, you are in late, you have to work 20 hours a day in order to succeed, etc…..These little bottles of poison are not allowing you to be calm and Zen. The way to shut them down is to take several seconds in a day and ask yourself if you are anxious or not. If you are feeling sad and the answer is that you are anxious, then you have to repeat the opposite sentence of what you are hearing. Ex: I should not be late otherwise it will be catastrophic, so you should say, if i am five minutes before the meeting then i will be Zen. Eradicate everything negative.

6. Accept the idea of failure:

You have to know and to be convinced that failure is a very good thing in life. You should know that it is not because you failed to achieve a task or to do something that you are not worth anything. You have certainly in the mind a lot of the big names in history and in the world that knew failures. The failure is a must in order to succeed and achieve our objectives. The small difference between a loser and a winner is that a loser commits the mistakes twice and the winner once. The failure does not kill “What does not kill me makes me stronger” Frederic Nietzsche. When you are convinced of these ideas, all the pressure that you had in the past will go away. This calm will lead you to better results and efficiency.

thebestyouare.com is a full guide to self help and self development. A lot of articles on our website deal with how to overcome anxiety. The aim of these articles is to make you reach a good health so you can better perform in your daily life.

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