How To Increase Your Confidence With Women

Article by Iain Duigan

Everyone knows that women are attracted to confidence. So, a great way to attract women is to increase your self-confidence.

When you’re in public and you see a very beautiful woman on the arm of a man who is plainly way out of her league, it’s probably because he’s the one who’s had the guts to ask her out.

One of my favourite sayings is – “Women go out with men who ask them”. Now this doesn’t mean that a woman will just go out with any old weirdo who hits on her, but that you’re not going to get a woman if you don’t ask her out. And often you’ll be surprised at the results.

An absolutely vital and worthwhile thing to do in this case is to increase your self-confidence.

Often, the way we feel is a direct result of how we act. So the first thing you’re going to do is…

PRETEND TO BE CONFIDENT.

If you know a woman you like, but haven’t had the guts to ask her out, pretend you are confident as hell, walk up to her and ask her out. Just do it!

Pretend to be confident often and before you know it, you won’t be pretending any more. You’ll get such positive results from merely acting confidently that it’s almost as though you are hypnotizing yourself.

You can program yourself. As an example, if you’re in an average mood and you take a deep breath, punch the air in victory and state, ‘I feel great!’ you’ll feel great. If you hang your head, move your face into a miserable look and say, ‘man, I feel awful’, your mood will follow suit.

Ok, that’s the really important one, your personal attitude.

Other things you can do to build your self-confidence are:

* Learn something new. Learn a new language. Chicks are impressed by French and Italian. They’re not impressed by Ancient Greek. Some women are impressed by your vast knowledge of the opera, some by your skills at cooking. Not many will be impressed by your love for Starcraft 2.

* Hit the gym. How important is it to look good? For yourself, VERY important. For her, somewhat important. Don’t overthink how much she wants you to have a six-pack though. She may well be impressed with it, but you don’t want her to think you’re more vain than she is.

* Learn how to dress well. I’m no haberdasher, but it’s simple to dress well. Suits are easy to wear and ensure you are clean, and you have decent shoes. For some reason women love shoes.

Now those are simple things most of us can do better. Increasing our abilities to be more pleasing to the eye and interesting to the ear will ensure that we feel more ready to talk to women we don’t know.

Lastly, I will say that it’s very important to understand why we lack confidence.

At university I had a fear of public speaking. My mentor asked me why and I mentioned it was because I was afraid that people would laugh at me. He asked me if I laughed at people when they were talking in public and I realised that I did not. I had thought for ages that strangers were possessed of the most negative traits and in fact most people are kind and interested, otherwise they wouldn’t have been listening to me in the first place.

Women are like that. You might get the odd one who tells you to piss off, but mostly they’ll be flattered if you approach them. Of course a lot of that is down to you, but I can count on one hand the aggressive and humiliating rejections I’ve had, and I’ve been rejected a LOT!

Sit down by yourself for 10 minutes and list the reasons why you lack self-confidence. This will work only if you are honest with yourself.

Then write a list of what you think you can do to overcome these issues.

And work on them.

Writing lists like that helps you really think about your problems and go into solution mode. Then you need to take action, otherwise it’s all just a paper exercise. If you need motivation go to the Playboy website and realise that you can have a woman that looks like that, you just need to take action. For most men, it doesn’t come naturally, but it’s 100% possible.

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Tags: Confidence, Increase, Women